Saying no is often something that makes people uncomfortable. Obviously, you want to try to help as many of your friends, family, and co-workers as possible. But saying yes to everything people ask of you makes others see you as a doormat.
Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of just because you’re trying to be kind and helpful. First, you have to make yourself comfortable with being able to say no to others intruding on your time, finances, relationships, etc.
You need to focus on your needs over others’ needs. Establish boundaries with others so that they can’t take advantage of your kindness. You have to put your effort into what you want to do with your time or money instead of what others want you to do with them.
For example, if a co-worker tries to hand off some of their work to you, but you’re already stressed out enough with your workload, then you have to be able to set your boundaries with them and tell them that you’re already too busy to do their work on top of your own.
If you never let yourself do things for your own desires, you’ll never feel truly happy with your own life. You’ll feel like you’re always only doing what others expect from you, which is no way to live.
You might have to say no to people who are extremely close to you, like your spouse, kids, parents, or best friends. Don’t let the fact that you love them take away from your ability to have a happy life.
While the ones close to you most likely won’t purposefully try to take advantage of you, the more you say yes and agree to things you don’t want to do, the more they’ll ask you because you seem reliable and always willing to help.
However, you don’t always have to say no to things that others ask you to do. Don’t completely block everyone else out and never be able to help them. Only agree to do things when they’re not impeding on your ability to succeed and be happy.
Helping others is a great form of stress relief because it makes you happy, but make sure that before you agree to something, you’ll feel better after doing it rather than more stressed out because your finances or time was severely impacted.
Learning to say no is a difficult thing to do. You want to be a helpful, happy person that people can rely on. However, if you let yourself constantly be taken advantage of, your happiness will decline and your stress levels will increase. Don’t agree to do anything that will impact important things in your life like your time or finances if you know you’ll be stressed out afterwards.