Perseverance and persistence are commendable virtues. They allow us to surmount some pretty daunting odds. However, there comes a time when they get taken to extremes and they become a bit pathologic. We are often indoctrinated on how deplorable it is to give up on something, and thus we usually tend to hold on to things that are no longer working.
There comes a time when holding on to something becomes a futile effort. We need to realize that at times we need to free ourselves from certain engagements and live our lives freely. Be it an unfulfilling job, a toxic relationship, or some heavy sentiment from the past, we have to know when it is time to let go. Here are some five chief signs that we are holding on to something that is not working at all.
It takes over your life
There comes a time when a problem or a worry hangs overwhelmingly like a sharp blade over every aspect of our life. When you find yourself ruminating day and night over something and can’t seem to enjoy or stop thinking about something. This robs you of every joy and excitement in life. Be it a job or a relationship, these signs signal that whatever you are worrying about is not good for you. It is high time to let go. Stop, breathe, and free yourself. Life is short, and you should not spend yours trying hard to work on something that is not fulfilling. Do not live in constant fear or dread. Reclaim your life and learn to walk away.
You are constantly dwelling on the negative
When a problem, job, or relationship makes you lose your optimism or vitality, it is time to let go. When you cannot find a ray of sunshine in whatever you are doing, and when it seems that no matter how hard you try you cannot get a positive response or outcome, do yourself a favor and leave whatever it is that you are doing. Sometimes the juice is not worth the squeeze, and holding on can simply cause more depression in your life.
You start becoming something you hate
Life and situations can change us, sometimes for the worst. When we are holding on to something and we find ourselves becoming something that we do not recognize, we need to save ourselves and leave. When you constantly have to compromise, change your personality or core values, and become something that is morally uncomfortable and you feel you are losing something of value, you have to let go. Giving up small aspects of ourselves for the sake of a job or relationship or a grudge can eventually harden our hearts and make us lose our compassion and humanity. Do not let anything turn you into something you are not comfortable with. Simply let go.
You start feeling worthless
Being stuck in an uncomfortable situation can make us lose our self-confidence. Those stuck in unsatisfying jobs and toxic relationships usually start to feel inferior and under-appreciated. When you start feeling like you are worthless and can never feel good about yourself anymore, it is a sign that you must let go of whatever it is you are clinging to. You need to walk away and start engaging in things that matter to you, things that make you feel that you are part of something worthwhile. This will boost your self-image and your confidence, making you feel good about yourself.
When you constantly try to justify something
“But the pay is good and I get bonuses.”
“He/She is really a good person at the core.”
When you hear yourself constantly saying the words above or something along the same lines, you are trying to justify or excuse something that you know is not working for you. As humans, we often try to find reasons and excuses for clinging to things. Yet, the more we try to hold on to something that is not good, the more we ruin our physical and mental health. Stop giving excuses. The moment you start telling yourself lies, the more miserable you become.
Letting go is never an easy feat, and we often do not recognize that we are trying too hard to cling to something that is not good for us. We need to make a personal effort, to be frank with ourselves, to find a moment of quiet introspection and look objectively at the situation. It is only when we are willing to be brutally honest with ourselves that we get to start the long walk towards personal freedom. Stop making excuses and do not let situations rob you of your right to live a cheery and happy life. Learn to recognize the signs and let go before you fall into the pit of depression.